I have yet to hear the perfect version of “O Holy Night”. But maybe that’s just me. Actually, you know what? I’m going to start talking about all kinds of stuff that by any reasonable standard I know nothing about, so you shouldn’t pay any attention to me. Stop reading now and go do something else.

As previously stated, I like my Christmas to go pretty light on the Jesus. After all, I am not a believer. But I have spent a few decades in western civilization, and as such I’ve formed some opinions on Christianity over the years. One of which is this: whether you believe or not, the Christian religion and all its trappings have a great deal of resonance, of cultural weight. We’ve been groomed to be impressed by that stuff, deep down. (This is why Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade were better movies than Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Stupid Crystal Skull: they used this phenomenon.)

And that’s what “O Holy Night” can play on. There’s power in that song, and the perfect version of the song should be able to bring it out. When the singer bellows out, “Fall on your knees,” it should drive anybody listening to their knees. But most singers treat it like just another lyric.

Not because Christmas is about domination and subservience. Just because what’s happening here, the incarnation of God on Earth (which is, after all, the story in question), is impressive. It’s, you know, kind of a big thing. And this is exactly the song to put that over. But I don’t know of a case where anybody’s managed the trick.

Carve yourself off a slab of fruitcake and look for such a version of “O Holy Night” here.

#25: Sleigh Ride
#24: Huron Carol
#23: Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!/Count Your Blessings/We Wish You a Merry Christmas
#22: The Twelve Days of Christmas
#21: I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
#20: Fuck Christmas
#19: Jingle Bell Rock
#18: What’s This? & Making Christmas
#17: Oi! To the World
#16: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
#15: Blue Christmas
#14: Christmas in Hollis
#13: We Need a Little Christmas
#12: Marshmallow World
#11: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
#10: Step Into Christmas
#9: Jingle Bells
#8: Christmas Comes But Once a Year (Christmas in Carrick)
#7: Christmas Wrapping
#6: Silver Bells

21/12/2011 Superhero of the Day: Computo

December 21, 2011December 19, 2011 Matthew ELeave a comment

Danielle Foccart.

25 Greatest Christmas Songs Countdown: #6 Silver Bells

December 20, 2011December 19, 2011 Matthew E5 Comments

It’s my experience that this is the best song for getting into the Christmas spirit. Christmas shopping can be a pain but it’s not so bad if you think about it like this.

“Silver Bells” has been covered by everybody and his dog, of course. I expected the Supremes’ version to be really good, because it’s exactly Diana Ross’s kind of song, but turns out it’s too slow. Anne Murray did okay with it. I prefer a female vocalist for this song but it’s not something I’d make a big deal about.

Dig Santa’s big scene with your favourite rendition of “Silver Bells“.

20/12/2011 Superhero of the Day: Meteor Man

December 20, 2011December 19, 2011 Matthew ELeave a comment

Meteor Man.

25 Greatest Christmas Songs Countdown: #7 Christmas Wrapping

December 19, 2011December 19, 2011 Matthew E6 Comments

Getting down toward the end of the list now, and I’m kind of stuck. I know what the top, oh, five songs are, but I’ve used up most of the other ones I need to include. So that leaves me with this little number, which I had actually never heard until last year, although I had heard of it, and which I kind of wanted to include. It isn’t really like any other Christmas song I’ve ever heard of.

Really wordy, isn’t it? But you have to love the horns.

Don’t forget to tip the Waitresses and their song, “Christmas Wrapping“.

19/12/2011 Superhero of the Day: Mister Fantastic

December 19, 2011December 17, 2011 Matthew ELeave a comment

Reed Richards.

25 Greatest Christmas Songs Countdown #8 Christmas Comes But Once a Year (Christmas in Carrick)

December 18, 2011December 18, 2011 Matthew E7 Comments

At some point somebody recommended to me that I pick up the Barra MacNeils’ Christmas album. (The Barra MacNeils, if you haven’t heard of them, are a Cape Breton family who does Celtic music.) I did so. And it’s excellent; one of the best Christmas albums I have. They’ve done a second Christmas album since then, and it’s good too, but nowhere near as good as the first. The standout tracks are “Christmas in Killarney,” “Carol of the Bells,” and this one.

Which I looked up online, to see if I could come to some kind of insight from seeing the lyrics in front of me. I couldn’t, but I did notice one thing. Every place I see the lyrics, there’s one line that’s different. Here are the different takes on it that I found:

“Who cares if we work tomorrow? Now’s the time to spread good cheer,”
“All cares are put for tomorrow, now’s the time to spread good cheer,”
“Who cares if we’re poor tomorrow? Now’s the time to spread good cheer,”

None of which are what the Barra MacNeils sing. They get right to what I suppose is the point:

“Who cares if there’s no tomorrow? Now’s the time to spread good cheer,
Pass the punch around the table; Christmas comes but once a year,”

Greet some strangers as you pass in honour of the Barra MacNeils and “Christmas Comes But Once a Year (Christmas in Carrick)“.

18/12/2011 Superhero of the Day: Network

December 18, 2011December 17, 2011 Matthew ELeave a comment

Wayne Tucker.

25 Greatest Christmas Songs Countdown: #9 Jingle Bells

December 17, 2011 Matthew E8 Comments

Then there was the time we went to the Santa Claus Parade in downtown Toronto. Every marching band, every float… they were all playing “Jingle Bells”. Bo-ring. (Except these guys; they gave us “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and they put a lot of zazz into it.) I mean, come on; is there any one of us who hasn’t heard “Jingle Bells” ten thousand times? And doesn’t need to hear it ever again? You’re going to be in this big parade, and you can pick just about any Christmas song you want… and you pick “Jingle Bells”?

However.

The Barenaked Ladies have saved “Jingle Bells”. In their hands it’s an interesting song again. They way they did it is, they threw in everything but the kitchen sink, they brought back all the later stanzas that hardly anybody ever sings, they sang the song every way they could think of to sing it, they made it sound like a loungey song and a Christmas song and a racing song all at the same time. It’s the only version of “Jingle Bells” you’ll ever need.

Pour the cat some eggnog and give three shouts and a tiger to the Barenaked Ladies and “Jingle Bells.”

Matthew Elmslie

Dum facio, aliquis est qui facit.

22/12/2011 Superhero of the Day: Fatale

25 Greatest Christmas Songs Countdown: #5 O Holy Night