I remembered.

I remembered limping through the forest. My leg hurt, and my arm was over a crutch that Dobdo had helped me carve out of a tree branch. Dobdo had been one of my comrades in the Wallentorp army. The path was rough, and I had to go slowly, so that I wouldn’t trip and fall. But I did trip and fall a lot.

There was a healer in these woods. Everybody said so. He, or she, was supposed to be a strange sort. A foreigner, but, more importantly, someone who didn’t always want money. Sometimes she, or he, wanted some other service. It could be as normal as chopping wood or catching fish, or as weird as painting a thirty-foot pine tree yellow, or standing on your toe for an hour.

And of course the first thing you had to do was find him. I had asked as many people as I could for good directions to his cottage. The ones who claimed to know something all agreed that he was on this side of the ridge, on the edge of a clearing. I had already trudged through four clearings, and the maddening thing was that I had found three cottages, all ruined and abandoned, with no idea if they were the right one. I had to hope not.

The wound on my leg, my calf, had healed long ago. But it healed poorly. It was closed over, and there had been no infection, but it still hurt, and I couldn’t put weight on it. I had to get it healed.

I know now why I so wanted to get it healed. At the time I wasn’t even thinking about why. I just knew that I did want it. Part of that was the pain, of course; that was no mystery. It was a constant stab. Didn’t really matter what position my leg was in; it still hurt. It hurt less if I soaked my leg in hot water or cold water and it hurt more if someone whacked it with a stick. (Which did happen a couple of times.) But to understand my reasons it’s important to remember just what had happened.

When we all woke up from the Great Nap, I woke up in the Wallentorp army. I was vaguely aware of some of the things I had done during the Nap, but this was the first time I had the chance to pay attention to them, to realize that I was far away from my home, my friends, my family. That was harder than having to live like a soldier, squatting in the mud outside some pisscan castle that nobody ought to want anyway. And I couldn’t leave until the war was over, because the lauran officers hunted deserters for sport. And of course there was now something that I wanted more than friends and family: sauce.

Then when the war did end, I was in no shape to go home or go after the sauce. I could hardly walk. What was I going to do, beg? I was a young man! I could do anything! I could, for the first time in a long time, choose something. And I knew one thing: if I ever got a hold of a spoonful of the sauce, I wanted it to taste right. It didn’t taste right for me the first time, and it wouldn’t now, either, not with my leg like this. I just knew this somehow. I had to get my leg fixed first.

The trek through the woods was so miserable I don’t remember the details very well. I know I had to go back to town once, and I know there was one night I spent sleeping in the woods. And I certainly remember trying one path I had seen before, and thinking, “Oh, wait, this must be the one, I should have come this way before.” And I was right! It took me to a clearing, pretty little place with a brook, and a cozy-looking cottage on the far side of it, surrounded by beehives and herb gardens.

I stumped up to the front gate of the little fence around the cottage, and rang the bell politely.

A dark-skinned woman stepped out of the cottage, drying her hands on a cloth. She looked me over.

“Let me guess,” she said. “You’re here to have your nose shortened.” I liked her immediately.

“What’s wrong with my nose?”

“Nothing at all. It matches your ears perfectly.”

“If you’re trying to sell me extra surgeries…”

“For only a little extra I’ll reduce your gland of suspicion. It seems to be overactive.”

I leaned on her stone fence. It felt good to have the weight off my leg and armpit. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t keep up this level of wit for much longer. Do you think you can help me with my leg?”

She pulled out a bench for me to stretch myself out on. “Probably. I’ll have to take a look at it to make sure. But your problem is that you got here just in time for the price to be very high. I can help you, but you’re not going to like this at all.”

And then I remembered more…

Beloved Zann,

I didn’t want to think too long. First, the longer I stayed in there, the hungrier I was going to get. Second, nothing would be easier than for me to think and think and think and lose my chance of doing anything. I liked an easy pace, but Srix had literally beaten into me the lesson that the best pace was always the fastest one that I could control.

My main problem was that I had nothing. Not just no money, no weapon, no tools, but also, no reason why anybody should do anything I wanted. No influence, no leverage, no power.

But if I did, what would I do with it?

I didn’t quite have a plan, but I’d never have more of one, and if I hesitated I’d lose my nerve. I got up, squeezed past my fellow prisoners in the dark, stepping on a couple of feet, and slapped my hand on the door twice. “Hoy!” I called.

“Don’t do that!” some man said. “Are you crazy?” said some woman.

I heard muttering outside. One of the Half Sun Squares opened the door, reached in and grabbed me, and held a knife to my throat. “Don’t waste my time,” he said.

I didn’t resist. “Tell Ladal that I’m not talking to him,” I said. “I know why he’s locking me up, and I don’t care how long he keeps me in here. I’m not telling him anything.”

“What the piss are you talking about?” There were a couple of other Half Sun Squares there watching. Too many to start a fight with.

“Just tell him,” I said, broke his hold, and stepped back into the shadows of the kegroom.

The door closed, and I spent the next couple of hours telling myself that I was an idiot and that this couldn’t possibly work.

Turned out I was right and wrong about that.

Love,

Ybel

Most beloved Zann,

My problem was I didn’t know where Wande would go if she had to flee to somewhere. Her parents were dead. Her sister lived far to the east and they didn’t get along anyway. She’d never go to Jhus’s father. She did have friends here in Crideon but the closest ones were Ostavon’s wife Geme, who was already missing anyway, and a couple of people from the scentmakers, who I had no idea how to find.

I went back to our roost. The city was strange. There were fewer people around than usual, and the ones I could see were skulking and afraid. Some of the shops and taverns were open and some were not. I saw some more corpses among the grey mist of the late afternoon.

By the time I had climbed the steps to the roost, I was weary. Still weak from the oubliette. I opened the door and heard something.

I stopped.

There was no sound.

I sparked one of the wall lights and he was there. A man I had seen before, somewhere, and he struck at me with some huge weapon. I fell down backwards, out the door. I tried to shut the door and he swung again, knocking it open. I rolled down the stairs, scrambling to my feet.

“Lauran-loving pissard,” he said above me. “Your time’s over now.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I answered, skittering downstairs as fast as I could.

“I want to,” he said, and pounced downwards at me.

Looking back on it, I have a hard time believing it, but I did the exact right thing. I dropped flat. It hurt when he landed on me, but it was a lot better than being knocked downstairs. I stood up as soon as I could, sending him farther down the stairs. I turned and kicked out at him, not very effectively.

He was getting up. I came closer and put a foot in his ribs. We continued like this until I had kicked him all the way to the front door. One more hoof and he spilled out onto the street, and I followed.

There was a squad of somebody’s soldiers. When they saw us, they raised their weapons. My attacker grabbed for a knife at his belt, and they shot him dead. Then they grabbed me and threw me in a cart.

Love,

Ybel

Beloved Zann,

I went down to Kayar’s to see if there was anyone there who might know where Wande was. Or, really, to see if Kayar’s was still there. I had to duck into an alley to let a patrol go by, but they took no notice of me.

Kayar’s was still there, although the front wall had scorch marks all over it. I went in. People were in here, eating and drinking, but not in a relaxed or celebratory way. They were all frightened. A couple of families sat in the back corner, their children sleeping on their laps, bags at their feet.

Oror was behind the bar. I greeted him. He said nothing.

“I’m looking for Wande,” I told him. “Have you seen her in here recently?”

He still didn’t say anything.

“Oror? I really need–“

“I haven’t seen anybody,” he said.

So he wasn’t going to tell me anything. Probably had a good reason for it. I let it go, and looked around again. None of Quoon, Ostavon, or Fafafa was here either. But I was hungry. I still hadn’t had a full meal since waking up, although there had been several small ones.

“Sorry,” I said. “Could I just get a cheese-fry? I–“

“We’re out of food,” he said, as he collected a tray of food from the kitchen and brought it out to some other people. “Try somewheres else.”

I couldn’t tell what I had done wrong, but I felt guilty for it all the same. I gave the families at the back a couple of silver cups each and left Kayar’s.

Next I tried Ostavon’s roost. But I could see that the building had been burned out, probably some days ago. From there I went to Quoon’s. Quoon’s building was still there, but when I went up to his roost, the door was standing open and the place was empty.

I didn’t have the heart to try Fafafa’s roost.

But I wasn’t sure what to do next.

Love,

Ybel

Beloved Zann,

Srix wasn’t around.

I had told Candur that I would think about his problem, but I didn’t. I worried about Wande and Jhus. And I worried about them harder everytime I saw a new thing. The longcoach back to the city was an hour late, and when it arrived it had broken windows and was lurching on one wheel. Near the coach stop, there was a round burnt patch of grass with some miscellaneous dark objects in it.

All I knew about what was happening in Crideon was what Tharus had told me. And he obviously hadn’t seen it for himself. He’s a giant anteater.

On the way into town we passed a farmhouse I remembered seeing every other time I had made this trip. Except now it had been burned down. I saw a dog slinking behind the charred remnants.

A mile later, we passed a gibbet that definitely hadn’t been there before. There were two laurans hanging on it.

I had my reasons for being a Rosolla Guard, for working at the palace. They weren’t worth Wande’s life. And if it was as simple as trading one for the other, I would know what to do. Maybe she and Jhus would be home when I got there.

The longcoach was almost full. The other passengers were either soldiers, who looked young and confident and stupid, or people, who looked anxious. They had a lot to look anxious about. There were more burned-out houses and buildings. More dead people. We got stopped twice by patrols in the road. One patrol was a group of masked fellows with farmhooks and the other one was soldiers in an unfamiliar uniform. Lord Clear’s men, I guessed.

It was even worse when we got into the city. We could hear explosions in the distance, and the damage was everywhere. Almost everywhere. When we passed through a richer neighbourhood, that part still looked very nice. But everywhere else. The longcoach didn’t go all the way to Blackfloors Square, but let us out in a smaller square some blocks away. I guess Blackfloors Square was too dangerous.

I made my way to our roost. I had my baton with me, that Srix had been teaching me to use. I didn’t plan on cracking anybody’s head with it, but just the sight of it might make me a little safer.

When I got to our building, it seemed intact. That was one of my worries put to rest. But I climbed the stairs to our floor, and saw a note tacked on the door. It was a message to Wande that I was waking up. So she hadn’t even seen the message? Where was she?

I went in. They had gone.

I knew right away that they had gone. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. The air seemed warm and unbreathed in just that way. I checked the sleeping rooms, and some of their things, that they would use every day, weren’t there. So they had gone on their own.

There was a place in the kitchen where Wande would leave notes for me, a gap under the cold bin. It wasn’t an obvious place to hide something. I checked there. No note.

Where were they?

Love,

Ybel

Dearest Zann,

Ambe’s dim chambers underneath the temple were covered with twisted roots, but not as damp as they should have been. On a shelf near where I was lying, a small statue of a frog wearing a jaunty cap breathed out warm dry air, while the rum bottle it was holding slowly filled with water.

I said to Candur, “Why would we have to do what Lord Clear says? He can give us all the orders he wants. We’ll just ignore him.”

He shook his head. “The oath we swore as Rosolla Guards is magically binding. If he commands us we may be compelled to obey.”

I thought about it. “What have you and Ambe already tried?”

He counted them off on his fingers. “Deafness; doesn’t work for written orders. Plus we really do need to be able to hear things. Not understanding the language; couldn’t do without that either. Changing the name of the Guard to something else. We thought about just leaving. Nobody liked that one. Magical shields. Charms. Things like that.”

That covered the obvious things. I pulled the slabs of moss off my body and sat up. I rubbed my face and head. “Does the oath force us to obey you, while you obey Lord Clear, or does it force all of us to obey Lord Clear?”

“The second one.”

I nodded slowly. I had imagined Candur giving up his spot as Captain of the Guard to me, because I had never taken the oath. But if they all had to obey Clear anyway, it wouldn’t make any difference. “All right,” I said. “I’ll give it some thought. But I have to find Wande and her daughter. They need to know that I’m well and I need to know that they are. Where’s Srix?”

“Probably in the main guardroom. Go and change your clothes,” he said, nodding at the nightshirt I was wearing, “you’ll see him there. The uniform you were wearing in that pit was unsalvageable, and your sword had somehow been transformed into some kind of baton.”

“Ay. That happens to me a lot.” I stood up and felt… not strong, but strong enough. “Do you want to go to sleep in this bed? Nobody will look for you here, and it might be a good idea if you were hard to find.”

Candur yawned. “I’ve heard worse ideas. Good luck finding your woman.”

Love,

Ybel

Most beloved Zann,

Tharus told me about Lord Clear’s plan to sit in the ruins of Cas Crid and crown himself king. I didn’t really understand the details. I think Ambe had explained it to him and he left out some important parts. But the idea was that if he, Clear, did it right, he would be the real king in some magical way, and then he’d have power over the people of Crideon.

I asked about Wande. Tharus said that she had actually come all the way out here looking for me. This was before he found me. They sent a message to her when I had been found, but the messenger couldn’t find her. That was strange, and worrying.

I had had other visitors while I was unconscious: Candur, Ellewen, Chath, Srix. Ambe told them that I’d need about a swing to recover enough to do any guarding or anything. I didn’t know how much of the swing I’d slept through.

Ambe returned. She gave me a punch on the arm and a small bowl of broth and then went back to work. I think she didn’t want to burden me with troubles. I told her I could handle more than a dish of soup and she asked me if I could handle cleaning up my puke.

Candur also returned. Ambe didn’t want to let him in, but he shouted her down and sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Sir,” I said. “Pardon me for not standing to attention.”

“Don’t do that,” he said. “We’ve got larger problems.”

“Lord Clear? Tharus has been telling me about what he’s done.”

“He hasn’t told you the worst part. I only just found out.”

“What’s the worst part?” I asked.

“Our oaths as Rosolla Guards may bind us to Lord Clear. We may have to go to Cas Crid and work for him. Unless you can scheme some way out of it.”

Love,

Ybel

Most beloved Zann,

Lord Clear hadn’t given up. He couldn’t use the Beast of Crideon to hunt down any rebels, but he had other ideas in mind.

The first thing he did was to release a flock of prosecution grouse. These were some medium-sized pink birds who would fly around the city until they found someone who was guilty of something. The bird would fly around their head, and squawk, and follow them home, until one of Lord Clear’s squads of greenfolk soldiers came along and took the person away.

Well, of course, there are two big problems with this plan. First, Crideon is a relatively law-respecting city, but even so, there are thousands of people around who are guilty of something. The birds didn’t get ten feet out of their traveling cotes before they were harassing some poor street vendor or truant kid. And second, there are plenty of people here who know what a grouse tastes like when you season and roast it properly, and were eager to demonstrate their knowledge.

So that didn’t work. Neither did the mirror puppets, the soup mice, the sauntering traps, or the fart magistrates. But as little success as he was having, Lord Clear was no fool. He had been studying the laws of Crideon, and he had found something that really seemed like a winner to him…

Love,

Ybel

Dearest Zann,

I don’t remember waking up. I do remember some muttering about ants, and some pain under my arms. And then, a while later, I was awake, and I had been awake for some time.

When I started thinking, I realized that I was in some chamber in Ambe’s lair. I was on a pallet on the floor and there was moss on my neck and chest. It was dark. Tharus was there, dangling from a fat rope that was swagged across the chamber.

“You’ve been down for a while,” he said. “How do you feel?”

“Weak,” I said weakly and scratchily. “And scratchy.”

“Well, you’ve got a right to. You know how long you were down in that hole?”

“Couldn’t tell.”

“It was about three days. Much longer and thirst would have finished you. Did you try drinking your own piss? I know some fellows try that when they don’t have water.”

“No. Doesn’t work. Learned in army.”

“Anyway. We couldn’t find you, and I was the only one they could spare to really search. So Ambe gave me a little magic fan. Helped my nose search out older smells. I was all over the palace trying to find your trail. My advantage was I could ignore all the usual places you’d go, because we already knew you weren’t there. Finally I got a whiff of you down below Comet Halls, and then it was easy. You smelled pretty ripe.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome. The trouble was hauling you up out of there. I could climb up and down pretty good, but I couldn’t carry you while I did it. So I got some rope and tied it around your chest and pulled you up that way.”

“Thanks for saving me. This moss for?”

Tharus shrugged, which looked unnatural for his anteater shoulders. “I think it’s putting water back into your body. I don’t know why you can’t just drink it. Anyway, there’s water next to you if you want. Go slow, you don’t want to puke.”

I looked. There was a pitcher of water and a mug. I wanted to drain the whole thing, but I sipped obediently. It felt wonderful. I cleared my throat. “Is there food?”

“Probably. Ambe will be back soon. We’re all pretty busy around here. Even me.”

I nodded. “What’s happening? What has Lord Clear been doing?”

He shrugged again. “A little of everything. He hasn’t been back to the palace, which I appreciate. Right now I think he’s in the ruins of Cas Crid calling himself the King of Crideon.”

Love,

Ybel