My dearest Zann,

Instead of going straight home I went to see Ambe. I wanted some kind of protection against Trall and Carsaduam, and whoever else they had. Nobody saw me on the way there, except a couple of lauran courtiers at a distance.

“Sru and Srumarin!” she said when she saw me. “What happened to you?”

“A couple of our brother guards beat the piss out of me.”

“You look like you got dragged around the inside of a quarry. Who was it? Anybody I know?”

She helped me over the twisted roots to her parlor and pointed me at a chair. I sat, and exhaled. “Trall and Carsaduam.”

“Those two bloodfarts. Right, I’m going to call forth a spirit that’ll set fire to the lining of their lungs. They can–“

“No, don’t,” I said, and she looked back at me, surprised.

“Why not?”

“They’re Rosolla Guards.”

“Not when I’m done with them they won’t be.”

“Ambe. Do you know how old the Rosolla Guard is?”

“No. Why?”

“I looked it up. It was founded almost two hundred years ago. It means something to people. It’s not just a red cape. It has, well, honour. If we start killing each other we’ll never be able to preserve that.”

She looked at me like I had just turned into a giant anteater. “Those two beat you into a puddle just today! Wearing their capes!”

“Still.”

“Well, at least tell the captain. Those pissards shouldn’t be Rosollas.”

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I’ll present my report to the captain when he’s ready for it.”

She looked me up and down and picked a sore place on my arm to punch me, just hard enough for the agony to be indescribable. “It’s not my job to be stupid, you know. It’s my job to know things. To understand things.”

“Owww! What–“

“I don’t know why you think you have to pile everything on your shoulders. I don’t know why you think this all has to hurt. But I do know that’s what you’re doing. And I know it’s not going to help the Guards, not that I give a cube of frozen piss about that, and it’s not going to help the next stupid kid who gets trapped in the wrong corridor with Trall and Carsa. So, you don’t want me to do my plans? Give me a better one.”

“I’m too tired for this,” I said, because I was, and went to get up.

She snapped her fingers and ghostly arms held me back in the chair. “No again. You’re not taking this seriously. It’s not something for you to pout about. The captain has some kind of idea for you to be an officer in the Rosollas. Give me an officer’s plan. Or quit and I’ll take care of it.”

We glared at each other. Then I sighed.

“All right,” I said. “Thanks. Sorry. Yes. I should go home and heal up. Can you tell the captain what happened? And I’m not going to come in tomorrow? But I’ll give him an interim report the day after?”

“Of course. Easy.”

“And do you have anything I can use to protect myself from anyone who wants to finish what Trall and Carsaduam started?”

“Probably,” Ambe said. “What’s your preference? Enchant your sword? Strength of ten? I can conjure spirits to do anything like that.”

I laughed, and showed her my sword. It was just an empty hilt attached to the scabbard. “If I don’t have it, I’ll never be tempted to use it,” I said. “Nothing where I’d actually have to fight. You know I don’t fight.”

She snorted. “How well did that work out for you today?”

“Pretty well,” I said. “I was never tempted to use my sword on them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Something tricky then. Wait here. Here, something to read,” she said, and tossed me a broadsheet.

I heard her clanking around in her workroom. Occasionally wafts of spiced smoke drifted into the parlor. I had finished the broadsheet when she came back, holding a long grey scarf with pink patches on it. I raised my curious eyebrows.

“Best I could do,” Ambe said. “It is actually kind of blackpiss. But it has limitations. What you do is, you wear it, and you tie it with a slipknot, see? Like this?”

I saw.

“If you do that,” she continued, “Trall and Carsaduam and everyone in their faction won’t bother you. They’ll see you. They’ll know you’re there. But they’ll always have something better to do than harass you. They’ll leave you alone.”

“Really?”

“Of course really. Some problems. First, it won’t work longer than one or two swings. Second, it only works indoors. Third, you have to take it off to eat or drink. And for Sru’s sake don’t fall asleep wearing it. Happy with that?”

I wrapped it around myself the way she showed me. “Yes. Thanks, Ambe. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“I hope so. Maybe work on being less of an arsehead while you’re resting up.”

Love,

Ybel